LISTEN TO MY HEART; ♡EKYO♡

`Monday, February 28, 2005;__

HOMEWORKS ! and still homeworks!

oh mann my wholebody hurts. i mean physical! due to
yesterday! okay i noe i'm week. i admit i AM.
wadever wake up damn late this mornin. 11.30am?
den finished my my chinese Zuo Ye and den i fell
asleep AGAIN! tts show how tired i am! lack of sleep everyday!
and den wake up at 3plus and i managed to finished up
my chinese zuo wen which isupposed to hand in 2weeks ago!
and den now i left with ENGLISH COMPREHENSION,MATHS W/S,
REAP, ART which i've not even finish the 3rd piece and now suppose
to do the 6th piece of art! i'm far behind!!!
SCIENCE Theory, and D&T test tml. i realised i didnt bring home my
d&t textbk! how am i goin to study? i'm in deepshit!

i guess i will not blog in so often. the most i do is
today i went sch study,band, eat, shit, and sleep! tts all.
i'll post whenever i feel lk. and till then byes.

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 8:17 AM;__

`Sunday, February 27, 2005;__

suey sia.!

AWW I DROPPED MY PHONE THRICE TODAY! =X
hearbroken seh... okay wadever.
i'm wonderin wad thel hell is goin on downstair my hse!
NOISY!!! well basically noisy pollution.!

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 12:30 PM;__

a great day!

i didnt ecpect my day to turn out to be such a great day!
though damn tired but still i love it! went bukit timah hill
for CIP. we didnt do any cleanin due to the bad weather
but we climbed all the way to the top of the hill, tt wad FUN.
yea to some of them they think it kills cos is damn high!
yea wadever i still enjoyed myslef so much!
went up the hill with mrs selvi zayar and irvin nirrizam was there?
okay den when we reached the top, awww feel great! thous is lk rainin!
we sweat alot! hahas great! den later took some pic and den we went
down! hahas walkin down is so much easier. so yup walk with
zayar and along the way we chat abt lots of stuff. hahas nice guy!
den later when down the hill and i helped him to style his hair!
hahas cool. so CIP ends earlier cos we didnt do anything! yep all thx
to the weather. =] somemore today so many ppl not goin sia.
den 4 of them from 2A. and then 2B so many ppl not goin!
so tt means they will join 2C next week. arghhh how i wish i
can jion 2C next week too! i wanna go with HIM! =] hahas
lols he is cute, he is cool, he is a malay, he has damn big eyes!
and he is a NICE GUY! =] hahas. =X okay enough of tt.
den we went back to sch and changed to home cloths and went
out to clementi with sulastri and syara!=] i love malays!
and den we had out lunch there and den headed to eye brown
threading! =] omg damnn PAIN! yeas and the sound was lk gosh!
scary!!! eeekkk. -no pain no gain- =] hehex. okay enough of tt.
den later we headed to lot 1 and took a neoprint. turns out to be
kinda alrite! and den later we saw erric ji hua and daniel.
hais obviously syara didnt dare to go near them. so she kip runin away!
ai yah lots of things happend after tt! not gonna say them all out cos
is gonna be damn long if i type all out! but i feel great cos finally
we matchmake another couple! =] great? yea ofucus. hehe shall stop here .
awww today i jus get to noe why everytime i ask zaman to pass message to
Rusydi and he NEVER help me to pass a single msg! i UNDERSTAND! =]

okay okay wadever it is i dun care anymore. =] hehex
[ how i wish i'm a malay! ] serriously i wanna be a malay!

[[ whole day nvr see him sia. miss him so much! ]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 12:00 PM;__

`Saturday, February 26, 2005;__

FUCK YOU CHUA CHEN SWEE!

FUCK u mann who do u think u are? jus a bloody
fucker okay! dumbass lah! was in a rather gd mood
early in the mornin when i was on the way to sch with veron.
and when we reached the sch gate, chenswee he was runin
towards us cos he got tuff club! and when he pass by me,
he point middle finger and said FUCK YOU! omfg.
my face turb black! and i said :U GO FUCK UR MOTHER BALL!
knn. i didnt do anything wrong, i didnt say anything abt you,
u scold jus becos u feel lk is it? everytime u scold and say abt
us and why the hell tt when we said abt u and u got so fucked up?
NOW I DEN REALISED WHY THE HELL PPL SAYIN THEY HATE U!
think first before u say anything ! think first b4 u scold! dun bloody
scold ppl blindly okay! i'm not here in this world for u CHUA CHENSWEE
to scold FUCK YOU ! i aint here in this world for u to show ur bloody
attidude! i DONT OWE u a single thing! get tt to ur thick numb skull!
i was really pissed! my day was ruined by u! CHUA CHENSWEE!
well u better read this post cause is meant for u the FUCKER to read!
u called me when u r bored! i grab sometime and tok to u!
And now FUCK YOU is all i get from u! oh pls i dun wan to
fuck with u, if u r so despo to FUCK u cud jus go and FUCK UR MOTHER!

seems lk my curings aint workin!

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:59 AM;__

`Friday, February 25, 2005;__

tired!

today, i went to sch, study, slack,band, sleep, and i shit.
and now here i am bloggin. tts all i did. nth much.
reach home 6.30. earliest in this whole week.
gtg now. LOTS of undone homework waitin for me to do!

[[if only... ]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 2:10 PM;__

tired!

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 2:10 PM;__

`Thursday, February 24, 2005;__

WHY the hell tt our sch must end so LATE!

School obviously sucks. expected and it will nvr change!
was wondering why the hell tt our school have to end so late!
where as other sch near us ends at 1.30 or the most 2pm.
our sch ends at 3pm for heavens sake! after 3 we CANT go
home yet! we have to stay back either for personally tutorial,
Music and IT or CCA. and for me i leave sch at 6.45pm EVERYDAY!
tt got me totally pissed! i'm dead tired. how i wish i transferred
in the beginin of the yr.
I seriously dun noe why the hell sch have to keep us back till so late!
they gave us self-study time from 2.20 to 3pm is jus a waste of TIME!
and they give us lunch time which is also waste of our precious time!
so in my opionion when the time reach 2pm they shud let us go home!
cos we dun need tt lunchtime and neither do we nid tt self study time!
in tt case we cud start our CCA ealy and we wud end early too.
tt way we dun have to reach home lk 7plus! think abt it. we r tired!
we cant get antythin in to our thick numb skull after the time reach 2pm.
cos by tt time we r already dead tired! so wadever lesson we r havin
after 2pm is jus a wast of time. cos once we r tired we tend to sleep
in class! so no point havin tt extra time in sch!

so much things have been happenin, and it took me this long to realise!
wonderin why on Earth are we hear for? WHY?

[[ i'll jus keep u in my prayers]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:20 PM;__

`Wednesday, February 23, 2005;__

- u r irritating! -

Schoold SUCKS as usual. not surprise at all.

i'm jus gonna hope for a better tml day after day.

i figured out something, and i relised every

first day of the week-Mon- if i'm pissed and

den follow by the whole week i wud not be in

the happy mood or wadever. is true.

i got so irritated today. we sit 3 by 3 in class

and i'm sittin in between Rebecca and Hydar.

oh mann they got me so f_ck up everytime.

since the beginin of the year.

every minute they r qurellin with each other.

NON-STOP. =.= imagin ur sittin there pls.

and wads worst they argue not bcos of any

specificc reasons they qurrel jus for the FUN of it!

I'm already so tired and then there goes the

2 of them irritate me every min. i'm goin NUTS.

i got to shout at them and i did. i'm goin crazy.

and then thut shut thier gap for few sec and

goes on AGAIN. =.=

Had PE 1st 2 periods. other ppl ran 2 rounds

and our group of gals ran 3 rounds. omg TIRED!

mr soh said we all walkin so add 1 more round .

and den if we dun reach the bb court aft 2 mins

he will increased the no of rounds.=.=

Had English spellin today. out of 20 i got 15.

And TT retard teacher want us to do 50 times

of correction for 1 word. at first is 100 times

and den she gave us 50% off. OMG is lk >.<.

My right hand was NUMB! is true. i write damn

fast. and i even complete faster than those who

got lesser corrections. omg my hand was lk totally

NUMB. no jokin. tt teacher must be MAD!

whoa i'm really SUAY today!

den later went for sci and den art. sci was okay.

Den during art i was sleepin! and teacher had to

wake me up. =.=' tts shows how tired i am.

i'm seriously lack of sleep.

my life sucks . all i do is go sch study, Band, Eat,

Shit, And Sleep. i spent more times in sch den

with my family.

My time-table for this week.

7am-4pm study in sch.
4.15pm to 6.15pm or even later,
band practice for chingay!
7.40pm reach home. sign in msn.
take a bath and eat till lk 8 or 8.30pm.
den still got TONS of undone homeworks.
and so many tests r cumin up!
and den i sleep at 11.30pm or later.
and next mornin i wake up at 5.45am.
and this is the routine ! it jus sucks!

i'm goin CRAZY!
[[ save me from the insanity ]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 12:30 PM;__

`Tuesday, February 22, 2005;__

begining to.

i'm begining to hate my life AGAIN. it jus sucks.

-Sunday-
Band performance at NUS for the aunty uncles
from the old folks home. they r really friendly.
we sat with them and help them with the foods.
and they most of them speak ENGLISH!
impressed heh? well and i mean english. not lk
most of us SINGLISH! has.. okay whole thing end
at arnd 2pm and we left NUS den back to sch.
later i went to Teng's hse to bath. and den meet
Dean at westmall for the carnival tickets. and
we watched Constantine. Nice. =]
went home arnd 8 plus den chat for awhile and
i went to study for history reap.
hais was DAMN disappointed .. not gonna mention y.

-Today- 21/2/2005
I GOT SO PISSED OFF EARLY IN THE MORNIN!
i shall try not to use any vulgarities here. but..
i dun seem to control. i jus got so F_cking PISSED!
bloody hell had tt groomin check every monday.
hais den somemore not the teachers check wor is
the student leaders. den i polish my nail with
transparent nail polish den kana cought sia.
hey com on lah lk some of u student leaders set
good examples?NOT ALL OF THEM OKAY!
damn.. dun tell me NOT a single SL bring hp to sch?
not a single 1 wear more den a pair of earin?
if really not a single 1 den i guess is miracle.
and wads worst she cant ask me to stand
up herself huh? she must grab another SL to ask
me to stand. bloody hell loh. lk only me with
nailpolish meh. shit head. suay sia. early in the
mornin make me so pissed. and den whole day
not in the mood. DAmn.. next time btr dun pissed
me off early in the mornin or u gonna have a hard
time. cos i will jus cursin u to hell the whole day long!
trust me.

dun think ur from 2A u can look down on ppl in the
lower class than u. get tt to ur head pls.

[[ a NASTY gal i am.]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 12:51 PM;__

`Sunday, February 20, 2005;__

fun fun fun.

wake up early dunnoe why also. then later arnd 1oam
i went to sleep again. hahas was dead tired . and was
kinda not feelin well cos yesterday we ran to Lrt in
a heavy rain without umbrella. even though we were
runnin in the heavy rain but at the same time
me , rowenna and teng enjoyed ourselves. hahas
was damn fun! a memorable day. =] we crack lots
of jokes on the way... and we all were lk damn wet.
den when we all at longjohn den this lay who clean
the table and spillk the coke on teng and den she only
said sorri and jus walk off to clean other tables.
wadlau i was damn pissed loh. den wanted to complain
the manager but he wasnt arnd. hymp...
den today meet neri at jurong point at 2pm cos we
goin to zk their church mah. so yep had lots of fun.
neri DAMN bian tai k. she after the servicce,
we went to eat dinner den on the way she was lk
hittin my breast all the way loh. den we took photos
and stuff .. hahas fun damn fun..

-sorri peeps as my tagobroad is still not ready yet.-
will try to put up as soon as possible .=] oh i've
change a new template so hopefully is presentable=]

[[i'm gonna change. prove them tt i can do it]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 2:52 PM;__

`Tuesday, February 15, 2005;__

tears

STREAMS
OF
TEARS
ROLLED
DOWN...

gonna end tt chapter of my life.

byes.

[[hate]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 2:32 AM;__

`Monday, February 14, 2005;__

how stupid.

i cried! inside the MRT somemore! -alone-
aww i felt depressed. aint in the mood.
house packed with my father's frens.
and den my mum cooked lots of foods.
den i left my house at 1 plus and headed
to rowenna's hse to bai nian, with huimin,
weilin, teng, melson & yao guan. hais.
den her hse also got so many ppl. all her sis
frens. okay den nth much happened there
rather sians. den left her hse arnd 4 den
headed to westmall to meet jian jian cos
he wanna give me the valentine present.
is a bracelet. =X wordins on it somemore.
anw thx alot =X. hais when i meet him
i was alr not in the mood loh. dunnoe y.
den later meet meijin go buy the earings.
hais bought LOTS of earings =X erm teng
and mj spent lk $5 and i spent $10. =X
hais den went home aftr tt. didnt have
the mood to stay longer. sorri gals. =X
k den i took mrt back to Admiralty.
inside the MRT therr were so many couples.
=X k wasnt in the mood to see anything
at all but ... okay den dunnoe y when i
reached kranji den my tears jus rolled
down, followed by the memories.
and then i cud feel the pain inside of me.
no words cud ever decribe how i feel.
it jus some how hurts so much when the
moment i think of the past. it hurts
me deeply. i'm so emotional. i cried again
when i watch *huang zhu ge ge * jus now.
i'm so useless i know but i jus cant control.
i've cried thrice for today includin now.
i really dun wish to go sch tml but i cant.
i've missed lessons on fri and i cant afford
to miss anymore lessons . i cant.
but if i go sch tml how will i feel? how wud
i react? wud i still be able to hang a smiley
face ? wud i still be able to fake a smile?
or wud my tears roll down ? i seriously
hate to see all tt. if i cud i wud jus shut
myself in my room and cry out real loud!
i hope i wud acctually stop my heart beat
for jus tt 1 day. which is tomoro!
i'm such a coward ya i noe. i dun dare to
face the reality. cos is ever cruel.
the one i love aint here but the one i dont
love is jus so annoyin kip botherin me
whole day long. wads this? leave me alone
pls. i've already delete u from my contact
list pls dun bother me .

Happy valentines to all.
treasure wad u have now.

[[stop my heartbeat for jus 1 day.]]

[[tears]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 2:16 PM;__

`Sunday, February 13, 2005;__

I DO I DO

I DO I DO ... hehes Funny movie.
yea damn funny and interesting.
a great movie to watch . =]
well meet rowenna, teng, Huimin,
wei lin, and geraldin at chuachu kang
arnd 2pm. den we went to westmall
to watch movie. we watch I DO I DO.
hahas nince movie. interestin . funny.
i lk the part when a guy asked :
do you know tt hokkien has
past tense too?
den ppl arnd him said:
ok tell us abt it.
then the guy said:
for present tense its wah lao,
past tense is wah liew and for
present perfect its wah piang!
hahas so funny and den still got
lots of funny things and phrases. ;)
den after tt we went to shop for
valentine's presents. i bought a
big big pink heart for rowenna,
i gonna bring tt to sch on monday.
and i bought teng candies erm the
pakage is nice. pink heart too. =]
and i bought veron the BoA newest CD.
hur hur. spents lots of money today! =X
oh did i mention tt i met lionel at foodcourt.
hahas bcome more yandao sia. got piercin
somemore.=] den ltr we met MJ and natassia
at the May fashion shop too. so Qiao sia..
and den later went causeway point.
teng eat ramen as usual, den me, meijin
and rowenna were lk usin out phones to
take pictures. hur hur -zi lian- haha;)
erm i use teng, and mj's phones
to take pictures of my hair (tail)
hahas cool heh. damn nice. i jus love
my hair so much. ;)
den later arnd 8 plus veron and tj
came to meet us. cos i wanna past her the
present. hais not gonna mention wad
happened after tt.
everybody not in the mood out of sudden,
hais.

-when can we stop all these?-
be more matured can ?

[[valentine's day is gettin nearer,
and i'm gettin rather not in mood
whenever i think of tt.]]

[[ i trust only myself.]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:59 PM;__

`Saturday, February 12, 2005;__

didnt go sch.

Awww didnt go school today! =]
hahas alot ppl didnt go i guess.
anw if i go sch today i wud have to
face tt B**** for 3 periods. sickenin.
so yea had a great time sleepin!
i used to think sleepin is a waste of time
but now i LOVES to sleep. yea i do.
wake up arnd 11 plus. and den ltr
confrence with tingjian and chenswee.
hur hur.. CS didnt go sch too. =]
so we tok abt where to go and stuff.
aiyah after al those craps we finally
decided to go lot 1 eat lunch FIRST.
we were lk starvin to death.=X
so meet at 3 den had our lunch at KFC.
anw the chickens r damn oily! eeekk.
i peel off all the skinss. yucks. so oily.
okay den we walk arnd and at the
same time wait for our dear veron.
i bumped into Sheena at billabong shop.
hahas such a sweet gal. she kinda dun
regonised me =X den stumbled for while.
hahs nvm nvm. den later i saw jamie?
hur hur last time she said she saw me
but i didnt see her. i dun noe her tt time
yet. i mean havent see her pic lah.
den today find her very familar so asked
sheena and she said tts her. =X
k den saw Xiao Hei aka Hui Yi.
(the gal who asked me to kip a tail)
awwww saw lotsss of swiss ppl. =X
okay den later we went to causeway to
meet veron cos she take bus from AES.
den we watched [[FENG SHUI]]
omg DAMN scary. yea really VERY
scary. i screamed lk hell. veron too =pp
hahas and tt dumb cs everytime go scare
me. dumb ya? hais...
when i was watchin the movie,
lots of memories came back to me.
hais yea i admit i aint in the mood.
i jus dun seem to accept the facts.
i wanted very much to hug some one
real tight but i couldnt. i cant.

nobody can replace u.

[[feeling so numb]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:54 PM;__

`Friday, February 11, 2005;__

didnt expected.

wonder how u ppl spent ur 2 days holiday?
for me? i spent most of my time at home
gambling! muahahas...

8th feb.
came back from sch lots of thing happend.
i mention tt alr. so den later at night had
the reunion dinner. with cousins and my family.
after dinner we played mahjong from 8
to midnight 3.30am. hahas so tired but FUN!

9thfeb.
wake up arnd 11am. my bro helped me
dyed my hair. ( the tail) not tt obvious =[
but well under the light is kinda obvious.
heck la. so long as i lk it.den went causeway
acctually wanna go play the UK sth sth.
but aint open till night.
so me my bros chenjie and cousins went to
the arcade . we play the car racing! omg!
is so funnn. esp when u get 1st most of the
time. =pp. hahas den played the percussion
thingy. well was great too.. challenged
my bro but obviously i lose. cos he is a drummer heh.
k nvm. den later my parents called cos they still
at thier frens there bai nian, but my other
cousins and my parents frens already reached
our house. so nvm we headed home and den
my house wad lk packed! lols soooo many ppl.
:S some i dun even noe. okay den nvm while
they waitin for my parents to cum home
we play the card games. aww this time i winnn=]
hahas. feel so great when i see the money cumin
to my pocket. well den after dinner still got
lots of ppl cumin to my hse bai nian sia. till 12 plus
they left. few cousins stayed overnight here.
den later my parents join in to play
the card game. aww my mum lose $250=[
hahas and i win lk $50 sth.and den most of the
money goes to my father! few hundreds.
and guess wad we played till 5.30 am this mornin.
aww dead tired. cos my mum wanna win back
the money tts y we played till so late. but end up
she still lose. lols.

10thfeb. today.
wake up late arnd 11.30am. den went to
relatives hse to bai nian. ermm kinda boring
i wud rather stay at home and gamble.win money!
came home at arnd 4pm den my bro they all
went to sleep. hais cos last night everybody slp
late. now parents not at home. hais i'm free
now tts y i blog in. =]

anw i still not comfirm if tml goin to sch or not.
seriously i dun feel lk goin. 2.30pm tml still
gotta meet kelly to make the payment for the
sentosa thingy.

[[ i like this way now. boii byes.]]
byes & takecare!

[[ DeaD ]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 8:30 AM;__

`Wednesday, February 09, 2005;__

a brand new life.

A Brand New Life. A Brand New HuiJuan.
i got everything clear into my head.
i accept them. accept the cruel reality.
we r strangers now. we've got nothin
to do with each other, i'm dead or alive
u dun nid to give a fuck anymore. i'll move
on to somewhere tt i belong to.
shud move on and not stay on the spot.
shud not shed anymore tears for u.
shud put my past behind me, welcum
a new chapter of my life. i dun blame
u cos is not ur fault at all i jus realised.
u aint to be blame, i decide and i shud
accept it. i'll not regret anymore. today
shall be the day for me to change to a
Brand New Gal. -HuiJuan-
this is the very last time i gonna mention
this in my blog. i am gonna change.

THE OLD HUIJUAN IS DEAD !
NOW PLS WELCUM THE BRAND NEW
HUIJUAN TO THIS WORLD!

i've jus got a brainwashed.

streams of tears rollin down my cheeks.
nvm is the last time i shed tears for u.
take care and best wishes for ur future!

2nd time i shed tears for u today!
NO MORE!

[[all the best boii.]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 4:00 PM;__

new year eve.

sch ends at 9.20am? okay arnd there.
the performances ... well nth much
to say. but i still lk the lion dance.
oh and the one with karen and nazura
tts 1 was lk damn cute. hahas so funny
and tt gal she was singin malay but
i tot she wad cryin` LOLS lame heh.
so went back to west view with teng,
rowenna, rongxin, jon, and alot lah..
so when we reach west view, the students
were lk ALL singlin so loud sia. hahas can
hear them from outside the sch.=.=
k den later while waitin for them to release
we were waitin for guonian and some fren
outside the gate. hais i saw HIM, bram and
warren. =.= my heart!!! OH GOSH ..
was lk beatin damn fast. and asked the gals
to feel my heart beats they were lk =.=''
yea i admit i was damn nervous. i dunnoe y.
happy to see him? dunnoe. but i jus dun dare
to look to their dirrection. den erm jon wanna
call them but i stopped him.
den later went to look for teachers and den tok
awhile but den the sch was lk gonna close! so
yep gotta leave. den jon went back home cos
he got sth on. den me, rx, rowenna & teng
so headed to BP plaza for lunch! damn hungry
sia. on the way there saw them, they were
walkin infront of us but end up we reach the traffic
light first. so yep they were lk standin bside us.
=.='' once again my heart was lk popin out. =.=
k so we went to foodcourt and den i felt so depressed.
had this mixed feelings. my heart hurts and i felt
lk huggin someone real bad. if i could..
den later they went other way. so yep didnt see them.
den when we finished our lunch, we went down to
northern light. i saw THEM again. this time
i saw lots of 6J 2004 people. were all crowd
outside the longjohn? then wanted to see him
for one last time, so rowenna drag me towards him
but i didnt go. den i jus went away. den later rowenna
went to look for him and ask him to go find me.
lk WTF loh, den i ran to watsons den hide there
but he still came in. den said Hi! but i didnt even look
at him. i was so regret. my heart shattered into
pieces. stopped beatin and i find myself hard to breath.
my tears filled my eyes. and i manage to hold them back.
hais den later on walk awhile and head to lot 1.
hais wasnt in the mood. so waited for my bro
den went home together. eh yep so here i m now. bloggin.
gotta be have my reunion dinner soon. cyas.
erm happy new year to all! =] best regards.

[[ i wanted to tok to u very much,
but the moment i see u, i cant help
but to turn my head away from u.
i dare not to look into ur eyes.
the moment u left me and walk
off, my tears wanted to roll down,
i hold them back. i keep them
and save them for myself. i cried.
how i wish i wud tok to u lk i used to,
how i wish u were by my side to wipe
my tears off. how i wish u were by
my side when i need u the most.]]

aint a happy new yr for me.
i'm depressed. i jus so hate myself
for not tokin to u jus now. i hate the
fellings when u i felt as though my
heart was stabbed by some shap weapons.
it hurts. i kept complainin it hurts
when i was with my pals jus now.
i did. i jus feel so hurt. as if my heart is
breakin to smaller pieces every second.

[[ my heart is broken.]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 8:39 AM;__

`Monday, February 07, 2005;__

mj's birthday!

okay now is 12.00am sharp!
6th feb 2005 .
Mei Jin HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
one year older.=] hehex.
here i wish u a very happy birthday! =]
may all ur wishes come true!
hope u like the present tt we gave.
is CUTE dun u think so? =]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 4:02 AM;__

`Sunday, February 06, 2005;__

orchard.

~HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIJIN~
kinda didnt plan anything and is rather
lk the last minute's decision.
hais still turned up not lk wad i've
expected.
conference with teng and mj.
and den tok abt where to go today?
cos we gonna celebrate mj's birthday
1 day earlier, her bday is 6thfeb! tml.=]
so yep while in the conference we didnt
comfirm the place and the time to meet!
and tt time was kinda late!12 plus.
and we havent decide where to go and stuff.
hais. everytimes lk tt. dunnoe y!
so yep after tt Jiao Jian called me and he was
at causeway so he wanna meet me.
so yea supposed to meet him @ 2 but
i was late AGAIN! =.= hais i'm always late
when meetin ppl. always not puntual! =.=
well only when i meet veron den i will be
slightly ealier den her =] sometimes we both
reach at the same time lols. cos we 2 always
late lah.. really very ps at times but ...
okay so obviously JJ kept callin cos they
wait till so long . dey reached at12.55pm.
so when i reach foodcourt guess wad?
i was shocked! JJ said he wana treat me
to lunch tru the phone so i kinda tot
he was jokin only but this time is true!
he bought the chicken rice and the drinks!
LOLS and with his other 2 frens waitin for
me! jus ME alone! omgosh was damn PAISEH!
i tot they eat alr but they acctually waitin for
me. lols very paiseh hor JJ. =[
so yea had lunch with him and his 2 other
frens. erm i saw them b4 . last yr jj's bday party!
den later veron came to meet me at foodcourt
cos she was with her mum buyin cloths ealier on.
so we chatted with them till 3.45? arnd there
den latr went to search for Mj's present!
dunnoe wad to buy. so we bought this 4 heads
erm cartoons lah dunnoe wad characters.=[ lols
den at first we tot the 4 heads r seperated but
is actually not. they r connceted and is a boster!
omgosh is so cute loh. oh me and veron alr promised
to buy for each other on valentine's day! =] hehex.
yep is damn cute.. is so nice to hug! awwww.. i hope
i'm huggin it rite now. well i m not i'm huggin my
*big mouth* rite now. =] big mouth is cute too .

finally arnd 3pm we comfirmed where to go
and wad time to meet at where. hais so meet
meijin,huiteng,chenswee and tingjian at woodland
mrt at 4.15pm. so headed down to town.
shop till lk 6? den we went swensens to eat!
awww so nice. but the 'earthquake' didnt turn
out to be nice at all. =[ so sad.
k den finished at arnd 8pm den we went herren
shop awhile den went home and here i am now. =]
oh btw i saw lionel lim when goin to herren.
i called him but he didnt hear me. so i called his hp
and he kept askin where m i. lols i kinda said he
DAO' .nah dude i noe u really didnt hear me la. lols
and we saw this guy he was on *fang le dian feng*
channal8 show. tt time he was performin and takin
off his pants. yea tt pervert guy. LOLS! he approached
me and ask me some Qs so i was lk hey this guy is so
farmiliar ... den i jus walk off and den tj suddenly said
he is the guy who took off his pants when he was on tv.
LOLS ... so farnie.
and today is it lesbian's day? we saw so many 'couples'
of the same sex holidn and & huggin each other. =.='
mj kinda shocked.. lols.

*i've decided to delete the sms.

[[everytime u spoil my mood]]

[[numb]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:45 PM;__

`Saturday, February 05, 2005;__

suffer.

school sucks. and i hate my english teacher.
she wrote my name in the dairy for
2nd time alr. she is pickin on us ONLY!
f_ck.. tts so unfair. me rebecca and some gals.
not the boys. she seldom write boys name in
the class diary or shud i say not even once.
kelvin jun qian and kunda thier group
when jus now in the com lab made so much
nose but she didnt wrote theri names. and we
gals surf net and den she gave us warnin and
said if there the 2nd time we will go out of
the lab! bloody hell lah. btw she wrote our
names down in the class diary! boys dun have!
oh and today we kana detain for recess AGAIN!
1st time whole sch. 2nd our class 2B ONLY,
and today all the sec 2. f_ck!
i jus find tt she had nth btr to do and all she
noe is to detain us for recess cut short our
recess time. made us stayed in the hall
listen to her craps.cant she spent more
time doin other things not every time keep
us back for recess and picked on the way
we dressed and stuffs. everytime wastin
her time doin all those stupid things lk
check our skirt lengths our ear studs, our hair
our badges everything she wanna pick on!
LIFE IN SCHOOL SUCKS!
today fri sch end earlier and tt means band
starts early too. from 1.10pm to 4.45 or 5pm
dead tired plus i was havin stomach cramp
and i STILL have to march.
and wads worst under the scorching sun.
omfg was damn pissed off. facin the sun
cant even open my eyes. dumb rite! cant
we turn to the other side where by our backs
facin the sun instead our face! stupid!
use some common sense!
bcos of the chingay we gotta practice so hard.
hais and CNY performace at old folks home
aint ready at all. we havent even learnt tt
3 new yr songs. how to perform? got time? NO!

piles of homeworks left on my table not done yet!
waitin for me to finish them ALL by sunday nite!
though now common test and CAs all canceled but
we got so MANY class test! REAP! - hate it-

[[numb]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 3:59 PM;__

`Friday, February 04, 2005;__

streams of tears rollin down my cheeks...

streams of tears rolled down my cheeks
once again! i cant hold my tears back.
i cant. i jus cant, i'm too weak. my paper
heart cant take all tt .
schoold sucks today. whole class kana
retain for recess. cos our class was the last
to settle down this mornin for assembly.
oh did i mention tt yesterday was the whole
sch cos we sing the sch song too soft. lk wtf loh.
and today is not my day agin. everyday i've to
fake smiles for u' do u noe tt?
y do i have to put on a smilin face
when i m not happy at all. y must i keep all tt in
my heart? i cant take it i'm about to break.
u jus dunt know how i feel. and now i jus relised
tt i'm NOTHING to u. NOTHING okay.

* xi xing yan jiu* so true! i totally agree!
-ppl dun try to guess who i am referin to,
cos tt person will know it-
so if u dun get wad i mean yup is Not U then.

i got this bloody maths test! surprise test! heh.
tt dumb ass set this bloody paper so high standared!
i didnt get a single thing . i dont understand ALL
the questions so i jus leave them BLANK!
i jus wrote 'i'm a dumbass so i dun understand them
at all, i give up for maths and pls dun get me into
anything tt has got to do with BLOODY MATHS!'
with my signature below it.
i jus so hate the subject! i've been failin my maths
since sec 1 the last haf of the yr. i jus HATE maths
to the core. nobody shalll change the fact.
u can say i'm stupid i admit i AM stupid! i am dumb
i dun get a single thing abt maths. my brain jus dun
work when it comes to maths. I AM STUPID and tts
the fact!

i'm so stressed up. nobody knows. everybody
thinks tt i'm the happy go lucky type.
oh pls I AM NOT! my life aint tt easy.
i've regret every single i do, regret tt i didnt
transfer sch in the beginin of sec two, regret
sayin all those things to 'him', regret to be in
this cold and harsh world. regret to every single
thing i did.

regret regret regret regret regret regret regret.

*all i know abt life is tt it aint colourful at all.
is jus black & white. aint colourful.
aint colourful,aint colourful, aint colour.

thank s for making me worthless in ur eyes.

i cry tears of blood.

[[numb]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 12:40 PM;__

`Thursday, February 03, 2005;__

streams of tears rollin down my cheeks..

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 7:51 PM;__

`Wednesday, February 02, 2005;__

dead tired~

oh gosh.. i'm TIRED! lack of slp..
was havin a damn sweet dream last
night. =] real sweet. and i was keep
thinkin of tt the wholeday. i was wonderin
and i realised tt i dare not to face the reality.
cos is too cruel. i cant imagine how am i
gonna spent 'tt' day in school facin most
of the gals hangin a damn sweet smile on
their face. is jus too cruel . i cant take it
i guess. soon i will have to face tt day. very
soon.13 more days from tml onwards.

had PE. wow. wad a tiring day i have.
run 2 rounds the sch. well more lk a
cat walk for me sulastri and rebecca.=.=
so later had this dumb english 'surprised test
damn hard. got so many questions and must
ans them base on tt one passage.
okay is diff.
den later after sch got IT and den later
music & technology.i paid the money and
ask teacher to help me buy the guitar. =]
yep i will get it maybe next week. hehex
oh and he allowed me to join his guitar club
even tough i got band as my cca. but so sad
guitar club is on friday which means it will
crash with my band prac. but nvm he still
allowed me to joi. i beg him damn long k..=]
he will teach me how to play and all tt. wow..
so nice.. `````````lalalala`````````
oh btw i jus wake up heh.
i fell asleep for 20 mins. den now i blog in
and i goin to take a bath now... cyas...

[[boii will u still teach me, will u ? will u?]]
heh i must be dreaming, tts so impossible.

[[numb]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 1:15 PM;__

`Tuesday, February 01, 2005;__

dead tired!

a normal schoolday! aint interestin at all.
english teacher mrs tan on mc. and guess wad
our zhang lao shi also on mc... no teacher take
over our class. =] was sleepin in class.. =]
got so pissed after readin the LIME mag. one
of the mediacorp artist gave her opinions
on how shud those people who is single shud
do on the valentine's day. guess wad she said!
she said'those singles shud stay at home watch
telly.. if we go out on tt day we will see those gals
with roses on their hands. and we wud feel uneasy!
hey come on lah.. so wad if u have a bf now?
does tt mean those who dun have a bf/gf shud hide
ourselves? dumb! make such a stupid comments!
give so damn stupid opinion. btw though is
valentine's day but is also known as friendships day okay!
tts totally a very stupid opinion dun u think so?

so after REAP had band practice. from 4.10
to lk 6.10 den finished the formation for teguila?.
dead tired loh. march for 2 hours! =[..
after tt hais went lot 1 to get my spect. =]
supposed to get it last thursday but wasnt free
these few days. den reach home arnd 7.15?

[[i miss u]]

[[numb]]

`_______LISTEN TO MY HEART_______;__ 11:53 AM;__